eBay vintage audiophile equipment glossary

If you’re planning on buying/selling any ‘vintage’ stereo equipment on ebay, here’s an explanation of common terms just to help you out:

Art Deco:

Any item sold on eBay

Retro:

Any item sold on eBay by someone who couldn’t spell “Art Deco”.

Buyer to collect:

I’ve *got* to see the type of idiot who’d buy this junk !

Working:

Some sort of sound came out of this at one point; it could have been a station but with pop music it is difficult to tell if it was music or just the usual mix of mains hum and static.

Not working:

I tried to fix/modify it, but it blew up.

Don’t know if it works:

See ‘not working’

Faulty – probably just a tube:

Doesn’t work – there is a *possibility* that it’s just a tube, but not likely, because I replaced the tube & it still didn’t work. That’s the reason I’m selling it in the first place, dummy.

1920’s:

1950’s

1930’s:

1960’s

Rare:

Usually less than five of them on Ebay at any one time

Very Rare:

Usually less than four of them on Ebay at any one time

No reserve:

The starting price is more than enough as it is.

Unique:

The only one I have ever seen in my house.

Highly Desirable:

… if you are a seller that is, since its the kind of thing you can guarantee some dummy will buy.

I’m not an expert:

… however even I can see this is a hopeless pile of junk.

Serious bidders only:

Screw off if you have a sense of humour.